Friday, November 7, 2008

The presence of God

Today we had an incredible chaple service. I stayed and prayed for close to an hour afterwords. The presence of God was so strong in that place. I had chills running from my neck all the way down my spine. God was so real in that moment. I sat there telling him how awsome he is, I told him that I would love him forever. I felt covered in grace, love, and hope, I felt the creator of the world tell me that he would never forsake me, that he would never leave me. I felt safe, until I went outside.

The chill I now felt could alone be blamed on the winter wind. It was as if all the grace, hope and safety I had soaked in a moment earlier, was now gone. Clouds rolled in from the eastern sky, and poured a darknes over the campus. I didn't feel God. The aknowlagement of this fact sent a bitter chill down my spine. I felt alone. I wanted to run back to the chapel. I wanted to stay in the safety of His house. Then God spoke to me in the dead silence of my spirit, He told me this happens every day. He told me I had just never been aware of it. He told me every day I leave Him in the chapel, everyday I walk away from the love and grace and safety, and it's my choice wether I take him with me. I had been abandoning God. I had been rejecting the creator of the universe. I would take him to chapel with me, because that's where he belongs, but everything else I would handle on my own. I was hurting God.

I'm determined to change, to carry the presence of God with me wherever I go. Not just church or the chapel, where it's acceptable. I love God, He loves me, we will be together forever, and I will bask in his presence every day, wherever I go, whatever I'm doing. And I hope you'll do the same.

2 comments:

Mike McCrary said...

So good girl...glad to see you blogging. You are awesome.

Mark Brandon said...

As I read this I got this image of dark, dreary clouds blocking the warmth and light of the sun as the people below shiver and whine... and then it came to mind that nothing can separate us from the love of Jesus...

not even the clouds.