I Believe I can Fly

When I was a little girl I totally believed I could fly. This is serious. I would jump off of the furniture and flail my arms in the air as fast as I could, I was convinced that I could defy gravity. (Rebellion really is a way of life for me) My parents, siblings and friends all thought I was crazy, and told me so often. though my 5 year old heart never listened to them, eventually trying to fly day after day, got really painful. You see, I wouldn't just jump off the couch and land on my feet...no sir, not me, I'm too devoted to the cause. I would jump off the couch and land face first on the floor. (I know, really dumb). The beauty of it is, I never stopped believing I can fly.

I know what your thinking you cynics, and yes I still believe I can fly. There is this part of me that never lost my childish hopes. I convinced myself for a time that flying is impossible, and then one day I was babysitting this 6 year old boy, and he began to get on the couch and jump off flapping his arms as fast as he could. I asked him "Matthew, what are you doing" and then before Matthew could speak his 9 year old sister chimed in "oh Matthew is an idiot, he thinks he can fly". I will never forget that moment in a split second I remembered all the bruises, all the jumps, all my family calling me crazy, all the excitement, all the faith. And before I could stop myself, I got up on that couch next to Matthew, I held his hand and I said "are you ready to fly?"


Jumping off the couch with Matthew that day woke me up. Did we fly? No. Did one or both of us get hurt? Yes. Have I ever been asked to babysit for them again? No. (I guess stories of a 19 year old jumping off your couch can worry some parents) Did I regain a childlike wreckless abandonment that I had lost? Yes. Will I ever be the same again? No.

I know what your thinking, you think I'm crazy. But isn't believing that you can fly, the same thing as believing that a long time ago a virgin had a baby, and that baby was the creator of the universe, and he came to save the world? Come on...I'm not asking you to jump off the couch, I'm asking you to get off the couch. Stop being so lazy, do something BIG for God. You know what? Your going to fall on your face...I garuntee it. It doesn't matter how much you fall, it matters how much you get up.

(I know you want to try it, go ahead, when nobody is looking, jump off the sofa)

City of the Blind

Once I read this story called city of the blind. It was a fascinating story about a city with only blind people in it, none of them had ever even heard of sight. One day a man who has sight stumbles upon this city, and is amazed at all that they accomplish together, everything is done with a teamwork attitude. And then the man with sight sees the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Well the story is really sappy and they end up falling in love, and all that junk. But that's not the peek of the story, the peek of the story is when they decide to get married, the city people are furious. They think the seeing man is crazy because of all of his stories of sight. They think that even the idea of sight is absurd. But the girl loves his stories and dreams of one day seeing. The elders of the city decide to let the man live in the city and work with them, to give them more time to decide whether or not they will let him marry one of their own. Once they began to work it was clear to the elders that the man is crazy. You see the city of the blind do all their work at night when it's dark, so the cool air can come upon them as they work, and they sleep in the daytime so the sun will keep them warm as they sleep. as they work they have no lights, for the obvious reason that they're blind, and therefore don't need light. The man just cant' work the same way that they can. After much consideration, the elders of the city decide that they will let the young lovers get married, IF the man will gouge out his eyes. The man is so in love with this girl, but half of his love for her rests in how beautiful she is. And the young girl is merely in love with the thought of sight. The man decides to go for it, he decides to let the city men gouge out his eyes. A few hours before it's time to have the procedure, the man tells his love that he is going to go for a walk, to look at the country side one last time. And the man is never seen again. The man decided to keep his sight, and just never forget how beautiful she was, and the girl decided to always believe his stories of sight, and to know wherever he was that he was seeing her in his dreams.

One might ask what the moral of this story is, My perception is that sometimes walking away from love with nothing but the memory is the right thing to do.

The Smell of Ecstasy

It happened in a moment of unawareness, without foreknowledge or remorse. It lasted merely a moment, but the memory still invades my mind. You see, I changed, the second the tip of my nose brushed across the downy soft head of the screaming infant in my arms, I knew I would never be the same again. It was "that" smell. This smell I speak of is one some will spend a lifetime trying to scrub free from their homes, and it's the same smell others spend a lifetime crying for it's lack of invasion in their lives. This is the smell of joy, pain, hope, newborn family, or possibly the reminder of one's loss of innocence. It's the smell of ecstasy, the smell of humanity in its greatest form; it's the smell of a baby.

Going to Church vs. Going to Hell

I have this problem with the church, or maybe it's the people of the church. I don't know, either way I'm ticked. Today I was sitting in church and my friend I was sitting with leaned over during worship and said " I love North Point"! I had to agree with her, you see, I too love North Point, it's the coolest church I have ever been to. But what about God? I have this fear, that is that people are falling in love with church. Church is great, it's vital to survival as a christian, but my fear is that people are putting their salvation in the "church" as in the people within it and sometimes even the building itself. The problem here is that we (the people in the church) are humans. I know this comes as a surprise to some people, but we are, ergo we will make mistakes.

When these mistakes are made, unfortunately people get hurt. And they feel like the "church" hurt them, rather than simply a fellow believer. And then "it" happens...bitterness, it's one of Satan's greatest tools, and it lurks in the corners of just about every American church. It's gross and messy, and sinful, and Christians are the most guilty of this activity. Then when things are already bad, the bitter person takes a right turn into the downward slope of sin. It all ties back to the fact that their salvation was in the church, rather than in God. Bitterness will destroy you, it will haunt you like a ghost, it will destroy your life. God is the only perfect person, everyone else will fail, you. Sometimes the church doesn't communicate...and that's my problem with the church for today.

2 pounds 13 ounces

6:54 a.m. Wednesday morning, Rachel Worley gave birth to a baby boy. She and her husband named him Micah Cole. Micah Cole is a very special baby boy, he was born 10 weeks early therefore causing him to be extremely premature. Micah only weighs 2 pounds 13 ounces. I got the privilege of seeing Micah this last week, and I feel as if I witnessed a miracle right before my eyes. From my side of the incubator where he lay, I could see him moving and reaching at the tubes that were ever surrounding him, the nurse told me I could reach my hand through and touch him if I wanted, as long as I didn't caress him, his skin is too sensitive and wouldn't hold. As I lay my finger on that little baby's stomach, I knew that he would some day change the world. Micah Cole may only weigh a few pounds right now, but that won't last forever. I relayed to a friend of mine that Micah would change the world, and he asked me how I knew, I merely replied "because it only took a split second for him to change MY world". That day with Micah is only the beginning for me, because you see, Rachel Worley is my sister, and Micah Cole is my nephew; my 2 pound, 13 ounce, world changing nephew. And every day that he fights to grow and develope, is a day that I watch in awe of who he is and who he will be.